being a grown up

5 Books that have greatly influenced my life

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It’s often said the average CEO reads 60 books a year, while the average worker reads less than one!  I don’t know if this is true or not, but personally, I try to read or listen to 25 – 30 books a year.  I wish I could do more, but alas, time doesn’t always permit me to.  The 5 books below have influenced my life and how I think.  I could make this list 10 – 15, but for the interest of time, I’ll keep it pared to 5!  Next time I’ll create the 20 books that everyone should read.  Until then, please do yourself a favor and check one of these out for your next read.  

Side note, the links below are not affiliate links, I don’t make a commission for checking these out.  Seriously, they’re just great books!

Atomic Habits – James Clear – The 1st law (Cue): Make it obvious. The 2nd law (Craving): Make it attractive. The 3rd law (Response): Make it easy. The 4th law (Reward): Make it satisfying.

Tools of Titans – Tim Ferriss – Tidbits of information from Tim’s long form interviews on his podcast in the areas of Health, Wealth and Wisdom.  Tim’s podcast was my gateway drug into podcasts and was instrumental in how I think about learning and asking quesitons.

David and Goliath – Malcolm Gladwell – There’s always a story behind the story and Malcolm teases these out like no other.  For example, did you know that shepherds were experts with slingshots?!

Kitchen Confidential – Anthony Bourdain – This book taught me that butter and fats make everything better.  It also gave me a whole new perspective on food, chasing goals and grit.

When Genius Fails – Roger Lowenstein – The first hedge fund that failed and was saved by the government, in my life, was Long Term Capital Management.  The smartest people in the room were right all the time, until they were wrong.  Ego is the enemy (which would also be book 6, but this list stops at 5!)

The Best Damn Cinnamon Buns On The Planet

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This recipe has been slightly tweaked from the Bread Illustrated Cook Book from America’s Test Kitchen.  This book has been instrumental in my baking journey and I can’t recommend it enough!  I don’t get a commission for this recommendation.

Cinnamon buns will bring a smile to anyone’s face, at any time.  This may not be a full on scientific fact, but I’ve yet to have someone disappointed when I bring Cinnamon buns for breakfast, desserts or as a snack.  Ever!  

These Cinnamon buns specifically have never disappointed.  From my first attempt to my most recent, they always kill!  I suppose it’s hard to go wrong with sugar, cinnamon, vanilla, cream cheese, flour and even more sugar!  These treats are a delight and will keep your family and friends happy for years to come.  Enjoy!

Ingredients (prepare before hand!)

Dough

  • 21.25 ounces all purpose flour
  • 2 ounces cornstarch
  • 2.25 teaspoons instant or rapid rise yeast
  • 1.5 teaspoons salt
  • 6 ounces whole milk at room temperature
  • 3 large eggs at room temperature
  • 3.5 ounces granulated sugar
  • 12 tablespoons unsalted butter (don’t use salted butter), softened at room temp

Filing

  • 10.5 ounces light brown sugar
  • 1.5 tablespoons ground cinnamon
  • .25 teaspoons salt
  • 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened at room temp

Glaze

  • 6.5 ounces confectioners sugar
  • 4.5 ounces cream cheese, softened
  • 1 tablespoon whole milk
  • 1.25 teaspoon vanilla extract
  1. For the dough: Whisk flour, cornstarch, yeast and salt together in the bowl of the stand mixer.  Whisk the milk, eggs and sugar in a liquid measuring cup until sugar has dissolved.
  2. Using the dough hook on low speed, slowly add the milky egg mixture to the dry mix and mix until cohesive dough starts to form and no dry flour remains.  This should take about 2 minutes and you should scrape the bowl down as needed.  Increase the speed to medium low and add the butter, 1 tablespoon at a time and continue until the butter is fully incorporated, smooth and elastic.  It should clear the sides of the bowl.  This should take about 8-9 minutes.  
    1. Pro Tip, make sure the butter is not cold, but at room temperature when you add to the mix.  If it’s cold it’ll take longer to break down and mix in.
  3. Transfer the dough to a lightly floured counter and knead by had to form a smooth and round ball.  This will take about 30 seconds.  You can also form the ball by hand.  Place the dough seam side down in a lightly greased bowl (you can use butter or oil, I typically just use a small bit of olive oil), cover with plastic wrap and let rise until doubled in size (around 2 – 3 hours).
  1. Make a foil sling for a 13X9 inch baking pan by folding long sheets of aluminum foil.  The first sheet of aluminum foil should be 13 inches wide and the second sheet should be 9 inches wide.  Lay the sheets of foil in a pan perpendicular to each other with extra foil hanging over the edges of the pan.  Push the foil to the corners and up the sides of the pan.  Smooth the foil fluch to the pan and cover with cooking spray or a small amount of olive oil.  The oil & spray will help flatten.
  1. For the filling:  Combine the sugar, cinnamon and salt into a bowl.  Press down the dough to deflate, then spread it to a lightly floured counter.  Press and roll the dough into an 18 – 20 inch square (the wider you go, the more margin for error when you roll it up).  Spread softened butter over the dough, leaving 1 inch border around the edges.  Sprinkle with sugar / cinnamon mixture, leaving a border at the edges and spread evenly.
  1. Roll the dough away from you into a firm cylinder, keeping the roll tight and snug by tucking it under itself as you go.  Push and pinch the seam closed and shape the cylinder as needed to be 18 inches in length with uniform thickness.  If there’s extra dough on each side, cut off with a serrated knife (this will help with uniform visual, eliminating “end pieces.”  Using the same serrated knife, cut the cylinder into 8 pieces and arrange the cut side down in the prepared pan.  Cover loosely with plastic and let the buns rise until doubled in size (about an hour, should take up most of the pan).  PREHEAT OVEN NOW to 365 degrees.  You can refrigerate the buns at this step in the process for about a day, let them sit at room temp for an hour if you decide to do this before cooking. 
  1. Bake the buns until they are golden brown and the filing is melted.  I’ve found this typically hits perfectly at 37 minutes, but start checking around 30 minutes in.  Rotate the dish at 15 minutes for an even cook.
  2. For the glaze:  While the buns are cooking using a fork, combine all the ingredients in a bowl until smooth and creamy.  Top the buns with the glaze after they’ve been out of the oven for about 15 minutes.  These are best served warm, but will be just as good if you transport them or warm up after refrigerating up to a few days later.  

Don’t Skip Leg Day – Doing the Hard Shit that Matters (and 12 hard things you can start doing now)

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I hate leg day.  It’s my least favorite workout of the week.  Squats suck, lunges suck, any workout with an eastern european country’s name attached to it, (I’m looking at you Bulgaria) suck.  

All of that said, no other day promotes body symmetry, fat loss, functional movement, joint health, body composition and muscle conditioning better than leg day.  Skipping leg day means you are going to miss all of these benefits.  If you are going to work out and take care of your body, why would you half ass it?  It makes no sense, you can’t skip leg day!

I like to think of things that are easily avoidable, but detrimental if avoided, as leg day items.  What am I skipping or not doing or doing that is an act of avoidance that I should be doing and confronting head on?

What are a few tough things in life that are like leg day?  What are the necessary tasks that must be done to help you make the most out of your life?  What are often the hard things to do that if not done, will create imbalance, mental and physical deterioration and  lead to a life lived without meaning?  I’ve listed 12 below and have added the why in a list below this list (I know, totally Meta!)

  1. End toxic relationships (this could be a friend, a significant other, a job or a supervisor)
  2. Learn a new skill
  3. Question the assumptions (especially your own and those within your own echochamber)
  4. Saving instead of Spending and investing those savings for gratification delayed
  5. Watching what you eat and not regularly overindulging 
  6. Reading (or listening if that’s your jam)
  7. Learning how to communicate to other individuals, groups and crowds
  8. Making new friends as an adult
  9. Meditating and being present
  10. Volunteering, Serving or Contributing to a cause
  11. Creating something new and publish, launch or display it for the world to see
  12. Be Constantly honest, to yourself and others

What are you going to get out of doing all of the things above?  Let’s take a look and see.

  1. End toxic relationships (this could be a friend, a significant other, a job or a supervisor)
    • Toxic relationships are relationships that have more negative benefits than positive benefits.  They’re the relationships that if you were to look in from the outside, you’d ask, why is that person in this relationship?  
    • If you are a nice person, these can be especially hard to get out of because you don’t want to offend.  WHO CARES!  GET OUT!
    • Stop calling this person, stop answering this person’s calls or texts and get out.  If this is going to affect other relationships, get out of them as well.  We have 80 – 100 years on this planet and there are BILLIONS of people you can associate with.  Get out of your fear bubble and find people who will bring you up, not down.  They’re out there.
  2. Learning New Skills
    • First, there is scientific evidence that learning new skills consistently throughout your life decreases your risk of dementia later in life.  
    • The more skills you have, the more people are going to want to be around you because you’re an interesting person who knows how to do shit.
    • The more skills you have, the more opportunities you will be presented in life
  3. Questioning Assumptions (Especially your own)
    • Here are examples of common assumptions folks once believed
      1. The Earth is flat
      2. The Earth is the center of the universe
      3. Humans will never figure out flight
      4. Humans catch warts from licking toads
      5. Thomas Crapper invented the toilet (I was bummed this wasn’t true)
  4. Saving instead of Spending and investing the savings
    • You will never get rich by earning and spending, you need to create your own avenue to compound your dollars
      1. Buy stocks that pay dividends
      2. Buy businesses that produce cash flow
      3. Buy homes and rent them out
  5. Watching what you eat and not overindulging
    • If you don’t want diabetes, congestive heart failure or other diseases that are caused by being overweight, don’t overindulge.  Abs are made in the kitchen, brah!
  6. Reading
    • It’s been said that the average CEO reads upwards of 60 books a year and the average worker reads one.  
      1. I don’t know if the above statement is true, but I’ll stand by the fact that reading and constantly inputting information in your mind that is designed to educate will get your further
  7. Learning how to communicate
    • Unless you are an individually brilliant performer that is once in a generation at whatever skill you do, you are going to need to communicate at some point!  Warren Buffet once said the greatest investment he ever made was in a Dale Carnegie public speaking course.  
    • To get what you want in this life, you are going to have to communicate well with others.  If you don’t do this naturally, it’s a skill that can be learned, no matter how painfully shy you may be.
  8. Making new friends as an adult
    • Your network is your net worth.  Don’t be stuck.  Making friends as an adult can be hard.  It’s easier to stay in your shell.  It’s easier not to risk rejection. It’s also incredibly rewarding to surround yourself with people who help you become the best version of you, always!  
    • Talk to people, invite folks into your life that you admire and take the risk.  Personally, all of my best friends have been made as an adult!
  9. Meditating and being present
    • Researchers at the Columbia University Medical Center claim meditating can change the structure and function of the brain through relaxation, which can: Reduce stress, anxiety, depression, increase focus, learning concentration, improve memory and attention span.
  10. Volunteer, Serve or Contributing to a cause
    • There are myriad benefits to paying it forward in life.  However, none more so than the sense of self that is built from it.  When you live life to serve a purpose greater than yourself, it brings the rest of your being up with it.  
    • Studies have also stated that service can help increase self-confidence and life satisfaction, combats depression and even helps you stay physically healthy.
  11. Create
    • Creativity has a compounding effect.  When you create once, you’ll create again and again.  You’ll find that if you create in your spare time, you’ll be more creative in your work, with your family and you’ll get bored less often!  
    • You can also parlay your creativity into additional income streams.  You could create a business, publish a story or find new friends through new interests.
  12. Be Constantly honest, to yourself and others
    • There are few benefits to lying.  In fact, it’s advice that goes as far back as the 10 commandments, rules followed by the 3 Abrahamic religions of Judaism, Christianity and Islam.  
    • Many of the most successful investors and business people today practice “radical transparency” which is extreme honesty.  It’s a practice that continues to create successful people and is still to this day, is hard to follow!

Now go do some hard shit and remember, don’t skip leg day!

How To Be Successful At A Job Interview

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I’ve had the opportunity to interview over a hundred candidates in my career from entry level hires to Director+.  Here are 12 things you should know about interviewing.  

  1. Remember, these are people just like you and I.  You want to make a good impression, treat them like you’d want to be treated.  Be polite, confident and welcoming.
  2. Go in and make a good first impression.  Smile, shake their hands (or fist bump if it’s covid!) and make eye contact.  A good smile shows enthusiasm and confidence.
  3. Dress the part.  Your nails and hair should be clean and well presented.  It’s OK to ask your recruiter or the person setting up the interview what the typical dress code is.  If it’s in person, don’t overwhelm with perfume, cologne or aftershave.  Guys, don’t wear AXE!  I’m sorry, but this isn’t a high school locker room.
  4. Think about how you sit, sit back in the seat but don’t sprawl.  Use good posture, talk with your hands and don’t take up all the space or cower in.
  5. Make eye contact, it is usual to make the person who asked the question the person of main focus (If a panel).  Remember to scan the room if it’s a panel so everyone feels included.  Looking at your hands, the floor or out of the window is a real turn off.
  6. Have your narrative ready for the, “so tell us a little about yourself” question. I have this scripted out.  Think about the highlights and what you’ve learned from them.  If you have passions, outline them.  If you have led, explain who you led and how.  Show some pride in who you are!  
  7. Watch the interviewer’s body language.  Mirror how they present themselves.  If they are a little more reserved, pull back a little.  If you find them to be a personality, don’t be afraid to animate! 
  8. Prepare thoroughly, research what the job entails.  Consider the skills and knowledge base needed and do a self-audit comparing it with what you have to offer.  Enthusiasm and energy for the position can often make up for lack of credentials, particularly if it’s obvious that you have done your research and have the potential to learn.
  9. Listen carefully; if you don’t understand what they want ask them to repeat the question.  It’s ok to be a little conservative.  Slow it down and don’t rush or be rushed.  Many interviews are also lost because the candidate doesn’t actually listen to the question.
    • Think about exactly what they are asking, what do they need to know? Is it referring to particular skills, knowledge, principles, understanding, your experience etc. 
  10. Use the question as a platform to sell yourself.  Use the question to give concrete examples of what you have done/can do.  Use narrative and create the connection between your anecdote and the question.
    • IE Tell me about a failure and something you learned from that failure
      • When I was a young man I was learning how to skateboard.  I had a lot of scrapes, bruises, 2 broken wrists and a broken tail bone!  However, I kept at it and eventually took on to compete in street skating tournaments.  Although I hurt myself quite a bit along the way, I learned through perseverance and vision that I could accomplish a goal.
  11. If you don’t know something it isn’t the end of the world, but BE HONEST.  Interviewers would rather hear, I don’t know but I’d be really keen to learn than discover too late that you have been dishonest. 
  12. Remember that most people who interview are also anxious, the success of their business is dependent on hiring the right people.  Do your best, be yourself and if you don’t get the job ask for feedback on your interview.  In this way the interview becomes part of your professional development and not a failure.     Good Luck!

How To Talk To Anyone, Anywhere, In 10 Steps

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The art of conversation is timeless. Humans are social creatures and in order to be successful, you are going to need to navigate humanity. Here are 10 tips to help you talk to anyone.

  1. Make a good first impression with eye contact and a smile
    • People often only remember the first and last thing about you. Smiling is a sign of confidence, kindness and empathy. When you look someone in the eyes, it’s a display of trust and attention.
  2. Mirroring – Replicating certain words and motions of the person you’re speaking with. Mirroring lets the other side know you’re paying attention to what they’re saying and treating their views with the close consideration they believe they deserve.
    • Mirroring could also be repeating key words used by the person you are speaking with. Don’t overuse this!
      • An example of this could be, “I’m a huge fan of The Cowboys, but I’m very disappointed in the draft.” You could respond, “The Cowboys Draft?” Then the person will dig in with more details.
  3. Be Complimentary – People like to feel good about themselves. If you pay someone a compliment (In a non-creepy way!), it’s going to make them feel good about themselves because of something you just said, you’ll immediately have a friend!
  4. Use We and Us in your conversation. It immediately makes people feel like they’re in it with you. This creates a sense of community.
  5. Ask the person you are speaking with, how they’re connected to whatever event you are at and figure out who the two of you have in common.
    • If you are at a party, an easy question is, “How are you connected to everyone here?”
    • If you are at a work event, “What do you do at the company? Do you know…?”
    • If you are at a kids sporting event, “Which kid is yours?!”
  6. When you meet someone for the first time, be excited and treat them as if you are already friends. That’s going to make easing into conversation easier. Be happy to be with them.
  7. When you are asked the inevitable question of where are you from and what do you do. Answer in a long form, not a short.
    • An example of this could be, “Where are you from?” “I’m from a town in Northeast Indiana, are you familiar with Indiana?” OR “I build jet engines for Boeing, but not the ones you heard about in the news!”
  8. Be Interested
    • The best way to be interesting, is to be interested! Ask the person follow up questions, play dumb about a subject if you have to. People like to talk about things they’re interested in, ask questions.
  9. Practice pauses
    • In conversation, you don’t need to respond immediately. Sometimes allowing a pause gives the person your speaking with more time to put their thoughts together. Just don’t let it be uncomfortably long!
  10. If you are feeling bold, bust out a few ice breakers!
    • What’s the single best item you’ve bought in the last year?
    • If you could only keep 3 apps on your phone, what 3 apps would you keep?
    • Who is your favorite fictional character? Who is your favorite historical figure?

5 Recipes You Can Build Your Cooking Skills On

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Being a grown up means it’s time to start cooking for yourself and others.  Throughout my 20’s, I played around with food a little bit, but wasn’t very serious about it.  It wasn’t until my late 30s that I learned how much love you get both from others and in your soul, when you make a great meal.  If you discover this secret earlier than me, you will also discover it’s blessings earlier!  It really is a treat to watch others enjoy something you put work into and it’ll also keep you invited back!  

Below are 5 recipes you can use to start your cooking adventure.  We hit breakfast, lunch and dinner!  We’ll pan fry, we’ll use the oven, we’ll use some spices and herbs and we’ll enjoy a tasty meal after! I’ll save my sticky buns and cinnamon buns for another time.  

Bacon, Potato Egg Casserole 

Ingredients

  • ½ pound thick-cut bacon, Cooked and Crumbled
  • ¼ cup olive oil 
  • 1½ pounds russet, yellow or Yukon Gold potatoes, unpeeled, sliced ¼-inch thick pieces
  • 1 large yellow onion, thinly sliced into rings
  • Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
  • ½ Tablespoon Organic Curry Powder
  • 10 large eggs 
  • 6 ounces shredded Cheddar, sharp Cheddar or Monterey Jack

Step by Step

  1. Heat oven to 375 degrees. Cook bacon in a 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat until crisp and the fat has rendered out, 4 to 5 minutes each side. Remove from the skillet, leave the fat behind.
  2. Add olive oil, potatoes and onion slices to the skillet. Season with curry powder, salt and pepper and cook, stirring occasionally until the potatoes are tender and start to brown, and the onions are golden brown, 20 to 25 minutes. Return bacon to skillet and stir to combine so that everything is distributed evenly.
  3. In a large bowl, whisk eggs together and season with salt and pepper. Add cheese and whisk to blend. Transfer potato mixture to a 9” x 13” baking dish and pour egg mixture over. Place in oven and bake until eggs are puffed around the edges and just set in the center, 15 to 20 minutes.
  4. Remove from heat and let cool slightly before eating. Serve with your favorite hot sauce for added flare

Sheet Pan Sausage and Veggies

Ingredients

  • 1 pint grape or cherry tomatoes, halved OR 1 large / 2 medium whole tomatoes cubed
  • 1 head broccoli florets cut from stem
  • 1 yellow squash sliced 
  • 1 whole onion diced in large pieces
  • 1 package your choice mushrooms, trimmed and halved (1/2 pound)
  • ¼ cup olive oil, plus more as needed
  • 1/2 teaspoons dried oregano
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried tarragon 
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried basil
  • 1 teaspoon red-pepper flakes
  • Kosher salt
  • 1 pound spicy or sweet Italian sausage (fresh sausages removed from casing)
  • ¼ cup plus 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan or manchego, plus more for topping after cook

Serve with Garlic Bread (you can be lazy and buy at store) or on Rice

  1. Heat the oven to 400 degrees with one rack in the lower third and one in the upper. 
  2. On one sheet pan, combine the tomatoes, broccoli and mushrooms with ¼ cup oil. Season with ½ of your herbs and red pepper flakes and salt to taste. Toss to combine and mind your presentation (make sure everything is spread out). Roll the sausage into 1-inch balls. (There should be 25 –  30.) Distribute them around the vegetables.  Season remaining herbs and red pepper flakes. Sprinkle the entire sheet pan with 2 tablespoons of your chosen cheese. Roast for 15 minutes.
  3. After 15 minutes, gently shake the pan to flip the meatballs. Sprinkle the entire pan with the remaining ¼ cup cheese, concentrating your on the tomatoes and the empty pan edges so that some Parmesan has room to crisp. Return the meatball sheet pan to the lowest rack.  If you are making bread, this is when you’ll add the bread to the oven. Roast until the bread is golden at the edges, the broccoli tips are crispy and the meatballs are cooked through, (depending on bread, most likely 7 to 10 minutes). (If the broccoli and meatballs need a little more time, remove bread and give them 5 more minutes and they should be good to go!)
  4. Use a wooden spoon or spatula to scrape up any cheese that has stuck to the bottom of the pan. Serve everything with the garlic bread or rice and more grated cheese.

EGGPLANT PARMIGIANA 

Recipe by Matty Matheson 

Ingredients for the tomato sauce:

  • ½ cup|120 ml olive oild
  • 9 garlic cloves – thinly sliced
  • 1 medium yellow onion diced
  • 3 tablespoons tomato paste
  • 3 (28-ounce|794-gram cans) whole peeled tomatoes crushed by hand
  • kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

for the eggplant parmesan:

  • 3-4 medium eggplants – peeled and sliced lengthwise into ¼-inch pieces
  • 2 cups | 300 grams all-purpose flour
  • kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
  • 6 large eggs lightly beaten
  • 4 cups | 500 grams bread crumbs
  • 1 ¼ cups | 296 ml olive oil
  • 1 cup | 237 ml canola oil
  • 4 cups | 946 ml tomato sauce
  • 1 ½ pounds | 680 grams sliced Mozzarella cheese
  • 1 bunch fresh basil leaves
  • 1 cup grated parmesan cheese

Directions

1. Make the tomato sauce: Heat olive oil in a saucepan over medium. Add the garlic and onion and cook until translucent and fragrant, about 5 minutes. Stir in the tomato paste and cook for 5 minutes. Add the tomatoes and bring to a boil. Season with salty and pepper and remove from heat.

2. Place flour in one large shallow dish. Season with salt and pepper. In another shallow dish, mix the eggs with ½ cup water. Place the bread crumbs in a third shallow dish. Working with 1 slice of eggplant at a time, dust it in the flour, coating it all over, then dip in egg wash, then place in breadcrumbs to coat. Repeat with the remaining slices.

3. Heat 1 cup of olive oil and the canola oil in a large frying pan over medium-high. Working in batches, cook the eggplant, flipping once, until golden brown, about 1 minute per side. Transfer to a rack set over a baking sheet and season with salt.

4. Heat the oven to 450°F. Ladle ½ cup tomato sauce on the bottom of a 9-by-13-inch casserole dish. Arrange a layer of fried eggplant into the dish, then layer mozzarella slices on top to cover. Spoon over 1 cup of tomato sauce then scatter 6-7 basil leaves on sauce. Arrange another layer of fried eggplant slices in the opposite direction. Repeat layers 3 more times ending in mozzarella. Sprinkle parmesan over surface of the top layer then drizzle with the remaining ¼ cup olive oil. 

5. Bake until the cheese is browning and bubbling, 20 to 25 minutes.

Reverse-Sear Steak with mushrooms and asparagus 

Ingredients

  • 1 thick rib eye steak or NY Strip, 2 in (5 cm) preferably USDA prime and well marbled (IE Fatty)
  • 1 teaspoon salt, to taste
  • 1 teaspoon pepper, to taste
  • 3 tablespoons high smoke point oil (Avocado choice 1 – sunflower choice 2 – canola choice 3)
  • 2 tablespoons butter
  • 2 cloves garlic, peeled and smashed
  • 2 sprigs fresh rosemary
  • 3 sprigs fresh thyme
  1. Preheat oven to 200°F/95°C.
  2. Pat the steak dry with a paper towel, and generously season all sides of the steak with kosher salt and fresh ground pepper.
  3. Transfer to a wire rack on top of a baking sheet, and bake for about 45 minutes to an hour, until the internal temperature reads about 125°F/50˚C for medium-rare.  If you have a bread stone, place meat right on stone.
  4. Heat the oil in a pan (preferably cast iron) over high heat until smoking. Do not use olive oil, as its smoke point is significantly lower than than the other oils and will smoke before reaching the desired cooking temperature.
  5. Sear the steak for 1 minute on one side, then flip.
  6. Add the butter, garlic, rosemary, and thyme, and swirl around the pan. Transfer the garlic and herbs on top of the steak and baste the steak with the butter using a large spoon.
  7. Baste for about 1 minute, then flip the steak with tongs and baste the other side for about 15 seconds.
  8. Turn the steak on its side and cook to render off any excess fat.

Mushrooms and onions 

  • 1 onion, cubed
  • 1 package cremini or portobello
  • Salt to taste 
  1. In pan with steak oil and butter, rosemary and garlic, head to medium, add onions and cook to brown 
  2. Add mushrooms and cook until they tender and fragrant, about 15 minutes 
  3. At finish, add black pepper, parsley and salt to taste, off heat

Asparagus 

2 cheats – snap off the bottom and peel the stalk

Here’s a simple method for roasting asparagus that requires olive oil, salt and pepper.  That said, 

  1. Heat your oven to 425 degrees
  2. Dress asparagus spears lightly with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. 
  3. Spread them on a baking sheet or in a roasting pan in one layer and roast until lightly browned and sizzling, and just firm-tender. 
    1. baking sheet, that should take 10 to 12 minutes
    2. heavy-bottomed roasting pan for about 15 minutes. 
  4. The trick here is getting the spears nicely colored without overcooking them, and you should always err on the undercooked side — asparagus will continue to cook off the heat

*You can add other spices as well: cayenne, paprika, red pepper flakes or smoked salt. Or try chopped pecans, a sprinkle of grated Parmesan and a drizzle of balsamic vinegar.

Best damn tuna melt recipe (makes 4 big sandwiches)

Recipe from NYTimes cooking

Ingredients

  • 3 (6-ounce) cans solid, water-packed tuna, drained
  • ¾ cup mayonnaise
  • ¼ cup finely chopped cornichons or small kosher dill pickles
  • 3 tablespoons minced shallot
  • 2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 1 packed tablespoon minced fresh dill
  • 2 teaspoons whole-grain mustard or dijon mustard
  • ⅓ teaspoon kosher salt
  • ¼ teaspoon fresh cracked black pepper
  • 8 slices sourdough bread, cut to your liking or from loaf
  • 8 sandwich slices extra-sharp Cheddar
  • 4 tablespoons softened unsalted butter, plus more as needed
  1. Place the tuna in a medium bowl and flake with a fork. Add the mayonnaise, cornichons, red onion, lemon juice, dill (if using), mustard, salt and pepper. Mix well.
  2. Depending on the size of your bread, spoon ⅓ to ½ cup tuna salad on each of four slices of bread, heaping it in the middle slightly. Divide the cheese among the sandwiches, tearing and arranging the cheese to fit neatly. Place a piece of bread on top of each and generously spread the top piece of each sandwich with about ½ tablespoon butter.
  3. Heat a 10-inch skillet over medium-low. Place two sandwiches, buttered-side down, in the skillet, and cook for 3 to 4 minutes, until the bottom pieces of bread are golden brown.
  4. Spread the top of each sandwich with another ½ tablespoon butter. Carefully flip the sandwiches, turn the heat to low, and cook for 3 to 4 more minutes, until the bottoms are browned and the cheese is melted. Repeat with the remaining two sandwiches and serve immediately.

A Workout Routine You Can Always Fall Back Into

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Fitness is a lifestyle.  All you need to do is give 1 of your 24 hours a day to your health.  There is no excuse, there is only health.  Without health, you will die.  Give this hour to yourself and live a better, happier life.

Throughout life, you should have different physical goals and try to accomplish things you’ve never tried.  Train for a marathon (I’ll have a post later about my 3 month 5K to Marathon training), go rock climbing, do a martial art or compete in sports.  Compete in team sports and compete in one on one sports.  It keeps you sharp and again, happy.

I’ve personally found that between times that I’m training for a specific goal, I easily fall into training lulls.  I’ll go to the gym without a purpose or plan.  That’s when workouts become cumbersome, ineffective and sometimes, pointless.  What I’ve found however, is that trying to get stronger has never served me wrong.  Below is a routine that I once spent a year doing and have found that is an incredibly easy routine to do for short or long term periods between training for goals and also, show results.

The routine is anchored in Bench Press, Barbell Squat and Dead Lift.  There are also days for your ancillary muscles, shoulder and arms.  If you are in your 20s, you should be working out 5 days a week.  I’m 42 and maintaining a 5 day a week gym schedule 80% of the time.  You could get away with doing just 3 days a week and I’d recommend simply doing Chest, Back and Legs if so.  I’d also ask you to do 2 days of cardio. My compromise when necessary is 4 days.  

It’s important to maintain your physical health.  If you do not, you are more likely to die of diseases that can be avoided.  Maintaining good physical health is a powerful kicker for your mental health as well.  Every time you exercise, endorphins are released.  An active lifestyle is guaranteed to make you happier.

Each workout below is going to take about 40 minutes if performed properly.  Properly means taking 2 minutes between reps, lifting with proper form and as heavy as you can to get up to 5 reps.  That leaves 20 minutes for cardio at the end.  Here’s how I split up my cardio days personally.  

  1. Walk Backwards on the treadmill – great for knee health and explosiveness.  Start slow (3 MPH) and move up 0.1 or 0.2 MPH per week until you max out.
  2. Run and keep your forefoot form.  Start slow (4 MPH) Move up 0.1 or 0.2  MPH per week until you max out.
  3. Stairs – Run up and down stairs for 20 minutes, bonus if your gym has stairs set up for you to run up and down!
  4. Set a treadmill for it’s max incline (most likely around 15%).  Start slow (3 MPH) Increase by 0.1 or 0.2 MPH per week until you max out
  5. Sprints – Sprint for 1 minute, as fast as you can, recover walk or jog for 1 minute.  Do this until you can go 20 minutes, then increase your sprint speed by 0.1 or 0.2 MPH until you max out. I like starting at 5 MPH for rest and 7 MPH for sprint, then increase until you max out.

Below is the 5 Day routine you can always fall back on.  However, before we go into the routine, I have a few guiding principles.  

  1. If you aren’t doing full movements you are cheating.  You will have to lower the weight at first, but you are going to get better and fuller workouts.
    1. Squat Ass to Grass – get as low as you can possibly go and even exaggerate further to go lower.  
    2. Touch the Bar to your Chest when you bench press.  Go all the way down and all the way up.  Count 1, 2 down and 1, 2 up.
    3. When you do pull ups or chin ups, take your arms all of the way down and lift yourself all the way up.  Do this without kipping (kicking).  
      1. This isn’t to say kipping pull ups aren’t effective, but save them for cross-fit workouts.
  2. Lift as heavy as your form will allow.  For major muscles this means you can only do around 5 reps during each set, for minor muscles its maxing out around 10.  
  3. Ego is not your amigo – don’t lift anything that feels like it’s going to hurt you.  You’re not impressing anyone at the gym, you are doing this for yourself.  
  4. Finish with 20 minutes of cardio.

Here is my 5 day Routine:

Workout 1: Push Day Chest – 3 sets each | Warm up is not a set

  • Bench Press w/ Warm Up
  • Incline Bench Press
  • Dumbbell Bench Press
  • Triceps Pushdown
  • CARDIO – Walk Backwards on a treadmill – 20 min

Workout 2: Pull and Calves (Back Day) – 3 sets each | Warm up is not a set

  • Barbell Deadlift (Do Warmup)
  • One Arm Dumbbell Rows
  • Pull Up
  • Calf Leg press – Single Leg
  • CARDIO – Stairs

Workout 3: Upper Body and Core (Shoulders) – 3 sets each | Warm up is not a set

  • Exercises: Seated Dumbbell Press (Warmup)
  • Dumbbell Side Lateral Raise
  • Dumbbell Rear Lateral Raise (Bent Over)
  • Weighted Sit Ups
  • CARDIO – Max incline on treadmill

Workout 4: Legs – 3 sets each | Warm up is not a set

  • Barbell Squat (Ass to Grass) w/ warm up
  • Dumbbell Lunge (full extend)
  • Leg Curl (Lying or Seated)
  • Leg Press Calf Push (Full extend)
  • CARDIO – SPRINTS

Workout 5: Upper body and Core (Arm Day) – 3 sets each up to 10 reps

  • Close Grip Bench Press 
  • EZ Bar Curl
  • Dumbbell Hammer Curl
  • Planks (around the world)
  • CARDIO – Proper Run form running / jogging

Now that you have a guide, you can mix and match these exercises in for your different muscles.  However, remember, there is no replacing Squats, Deadlift or Bench Press on their days.  Everything else, have fun with.

Chest

  • Barbell Bench Press (incline and flat)
  • Dumbbell Bench Press (incline and flat)
  • Cable Flys
  • Dip
  • Weighted Push ups on handles

Shoulders

  • Overhead press (Seated or Standing)
  • Military Press (Seated or Standing)
  • Dumbbell press (Seated or Standing)
  • Arnold Dumbbell Press
  • Dumbbell Front Raise
  • Dumbbell Side Lateral Raise
  • Dumbbell rear lateral Raise (Bent over or Seated)
  • Barbell Rear Delt Row

Back

  • Barbell Deadlift
  • Barbell Row
  • One-Arm Dumbbell Row
  • Pull Ups (Full Extensions)
  • Chin Ups (Full Extensions)
  • T-Bar Row
  • Lat Pull Downs (Wide Grip or Narrow)
  • Seated Cable Row (Wide Grip or Narrow)

Biceps (It’s a show muscle!)

Barbell Curl

  • EZ Barl Curl
  • Alternating Dumbbell Curl
  • Dumbbell Hammer Curl
  • Chin Up

Triceps (The working muscle that does the damn thing!)

Close Grip Bench Press

  • Seated Triceps Press
  • Dips
  • Lying Tricep Extensions (Skull Crushers) Be careful!
  • Tricep Push Downs

Core (Remember – Abs are made in the kitchen, but assisted in gym!)

Captain’s chair Leg Raise

  • Hanging Leg Raise
  • Lying Leg Raise
  • Crunch
  • Cable Crunch
  • Weighted Sit Ups (on floor or on decline bench)
  • Plank
  • Abdominal Roller

Legs (Don’t skip leg day – it’s your success creator)

Barbell Squat (Ass to Grass)

  • Barbell Front Squat (Ass to Grass)
  • Hack Squat on a sled
  • Leg Press
  • Lunges (Full Extensions, walking, in place, forward or backwards)
  • Romanian Deadlift (Barbell or Dumbbell)
  • Leg Curl (Lying or seated)
  • Standing or Seated Calf Raise 
  • Leg Press Calf Raise

There you have it.  Now get off your butt and get to the gym.  It’s on you to take care of you, don’t forget it!

The Importance of Branding Yourself and Some Guiding Questions For You Who Haven’t

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I had a buddy in high school who used to fire bottle rockets out of his hindquarters, had people pay him to watch get crazy piercings and would get naked parties because he was the “fat naked guy.” This was his brand. I won’t give his nickname as to not incriminate him, he’s changed very much from those days. His brand was the big naked crazy guy. He was also one of my buds.

I have another very close person in my life who grew up in apartheid Zimbabwe. He couldn’t walk on the sidewalk until he was 14 years old. He was the only black kid in his high school and he had to bust his ass through primary school to have an inkling of a chance to even get to high school. Then to get to college, this guy organized a 120+ kilometer run (just over 3 marathons) over the course of 3 days from his high school to the country’s capital to raise money for an orphanage. He didn’t realize when he was organizing this run that a scholarship would be the result, but it was!

This guy branded himself as the guy who will get shit done. By 27, apartheid was lifted and he ran a company with 4,000 employees. By 40, he chaired multiple publicly traded companies and by 50 he retired. His brand was that of an executive. He was a leader. He was a capitalist. He told me that he branded himself as all of these things early and he never stopped!

We are all responsible for the brand we want to project for ourselves. This is something we need to start thinking about now and forever. What do we want to be, how do we want to be perceived and how are we going to start projecting that image out to the world?

This is not something we are taught in school and I think it’s a shame. Our brand is our everything. Who the hell are you?! If this is something you haven’t thought about, it’s something you must begin to think about. We are one in a world of billions. We are competing for jobs, attention and resources. What are you going to contribute? What are you going to create or what are you going to add value to?

If you haven’t started to think about your personal brand, I want to give you a homework assignment. This is real, it’s grown up shit! If you want to grow and compete, you need to start thinking about this.

Here it is, before you do anything else, write down these questions and answer them.

  1. Do you have a superpower? Is there something you can do better than anyone else, or even better than most?
  2. If you could picture your dream self in 5 years, what would that dream self look like? This could be physical, mental, financial, social or all.
  3. What do people praise you for and what do you want to be praised for?
  4. What gets you fired up? What makes you the most excited version of you?
  5. Now, a bit deeper into the woods — How do I define myself and why do I matter?
  6. What’s my mission in life and what do I believe in?
  7. Finally, what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Answer these questions and remember, we are the authors of our own destiny. We can be the crazy naked guy at parties or we can run industries, let’s go make something happen!

25 things I’ve learned in my first 7 months of being a dad

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1. Baby poop is ever changing and this is something every parent observes

2. Babies can eat normal food before they have teeth, such as strawberries, eggs and even little pieces of meat or chicken legs!

3. The parent taking care of the baby full time, at anytime, has the harder job

  • I said this to be nice when my wife was on maternity, but when I got to paternity, I realized work was actually an escape

4. My time is no longer mine 

5. Before your baby crawls, parenting is less intense.  Once they crawl, you’re now in charge of preventing accidents and worst.  

  • I hear this amplifies with walking and talking 

6. The best part of my day is when I get to snuggle with baby and we knowingly enjoy each other’s company

7. My long term thinking has changed completely 

8. I think about fitness to chase my kids around and be able to keep up with them for a longer period of time

9. The baby industrial complex makes something for everything baby

10. Baby proofing homes has yet to become high tech

  • Business idea – smart baby proof doors that can be all turned on and all turned off at the same time

11. If baby is crying, you’ll literally do anything to stop it

12. Everything you once judged parents for (binkie from floor to mouth, screens, baby covered in food), you end up doing

13. Anything you can do to make your child laugh, you will do repeatedly 

14. I will compete to have papa as the first word out of baby’s mouth 

15. I should have gotten a night nurse and I will for #2!

16. Much of what used to matter no longer does

17. Babies will pee on you many times during diaper changes – this is temporary 

18. Babies are supposed to sleep on their backs until they can roll, then they mostly sleep on their stomach

19.  Doing things with baby is always scary the first time, then becomes part of life – this ranges from going out to eat to traveling

20. Hangovers are no longer worth the price

21. Happiness is baby noises (koos, bahs and aaaahs)

22. Most of what gets us aggressive in life never changes – you’re hungry, tired or need to use the restroom 

23. Naps are gods gift, both taking them and when baby takes them

  • When the baby is new, you sleep when baby sleeps

24. You reflect on teaching someone else on how to be a good person and remember they’re going to watch you and model these behaviors 

25. Being a dad is the best!